Sunday, June 24, 2012

Charcoal Pt. 11

And just before midnight, here it is! A bit short and a lot delayed.  And mostly unedited.  I will do better!  I have been super distracted (an excuse I know) and have gotten out of the habit of writing everyday.  Which is rather bad.   But I will do my best to get back on the ball.  I have also started posting on (oh my goodness so much stress, well the first time)  and I like it.  I also edit before posting so you might want to check there if typos bother you too much.  Anyway enough rambling.  As always comments are wonderful and I love them with all my heart!

Charcoal Pt. 11

With similar promises of secrecy Soul told Scott about all the things he had been holding back.  He told about the voice and the drawings, how sick he felt when he was trying to tell about him.  The dark feelings he had when he was drawing for the first portfolio and how Jon’s eyes had been full of fear.  The only different thing he didn’t share was the fear he felt for the future, and especially for his relationship with Scott.

Scott sat silently though it all and thought.

“You probably have a block.  Like Melissa said.  Your mom probably gave it to you, to keep you away from my mom.”  Scott began when Soul was silent. 

“I guess that would make sense.”  Soul thought back, trying to remember a time when his mother had been anything but perfectly, infuriatingly normal.  “But she never did anything-“

“That you remember.  She was very good with memories.”  Soul sat back against the pillows and thought about that. 

“And is your mom?  What is her specialty?”  Scott sat silently and played with the edge of his pajamas. 

“She does a little of everything.  No one has ever been able to put her in a box.  Even my dad.  He looks like he is in charge, but that is only because she wants him to look like he is in charge.  He does everything she tells him, he always has.” 

Soul thought this over, and what Melissa had said.  If they weren’t all with their mother, would they be with him, was his mom still on his side- any side?

“You are thinking too hard, it’s late.  We don’t have to fix this all now.”  Soul looked at Scott. 

“You look ridiculous just wearing jammies.”  He smiled and ran a hand down the soft cloth.  He felt calmer now.  There was no overwhelming attraction or instant disgust.  He felt himself, neutral.

“Well, one of us has to wear clothes.”  Scott looked pointedly at Soul’s still bared chest.  He seemed to pick up on the calm mood and smiled back.

Soul was glad he was feeling more himself but he couldn’t let it go.

“Why do I sometimes hate you, and sometimes being away from you feels like it would be the worst thing in the world?”  Scott’s smile faded. 

“Well you might naturally hate me, and the bond, even one sided as it is influences you to like me.  But what I hope, and the most likely answer is that the block is trying to keep you away, and the bond wants you closer.”

“So now, I don’t really feel either?”  Scott shrugged.

“Well how do you feel?”

“I feel like-“ Soul had to pause to think.  “I feel like I don’t know you well enough to really know.  I think you look silly in that outfit but not so bad otherwise.”  Soul’s smile returned, and in turn, so did Scott’s.
“Well I could take them off?”  Scott suggested.  Soul shook his head with a smile, then sobered.

“But why?  I mean we are here, where you say it started and that it should be worse here.  Your mom is just down the hall.  Why don’t I feel like-“

“Ripping my clothes off?”  Scott nodded.  “I don’t know.  Maybe because the bond and block aren’t fighting so hard.  You let me in, just a bit.”  Scott couldn’t help smirking at the last bit.  Soul sighed and yawned. 

“Lets sleep.”


The next morning Soul woke panicked, thinking he would miss his writing class.  He sat up in bed before his eyes were truly open and was assaulted by the deep red of the walls.  Slowly his heartbeat slowed.  He remembered where he was and why.  Scott was still sound asleep.  Soul looked down at him and felt little.  Soul was beyond excited that the progress of the night before seemed to stick.  He sat quietly, listening to the sounds of the house waking up. 

Scott began to stir about 10 minutes after Soul.  Soul smiled optimistic about what the day would bring.  Now that he could think and was alone in his own mind, maybe he could begin to look into the possible meanings of his pictures.  But as Scott opened his eyes, Soul knew something was not right. 

Scot sat up in one boneless movement and stared at Soul.  His eyes were bloodshot and his pupils were huge, even for the shadowed room.  Soul stared into his eyes, frozen.  The intense look from the night before was back, threefold. 

“Scott?”  He asked.  There was no answer.  They sat for what felt like ages.  Finally something broke the tension, Soul didn’t know what it was but suddenly Scott was above him.  Soul pushed at his shoulders, but Scott wouldn’t be moved.  Scott leaned in for a kiss, Soul turned his head, but Scott merely went for his neck, licking and biting.  Soul knew there would be a mark.  It felt amazing, but it wasn’t what Soul wanted.  He couldn’t find his words, and his arms weren’t in a position to push effectively. 

Satisfied with the mark on Soul’s neck, Scott moved on to Soul’s bare chest.  He licked at his nipples, then bit the left, harder than anything Soul would ever want.  Finally he found his voice.

“Scott no!  I don’t want this.  Stop please, let me up.”  Scott took no notice, if anything the pleas urged him on.  He continued in a leisurely path down Soul’s sternum to his bellybutton, leaving his marks everywhere he stopped.  Soul was breathless.  It felt too good to continue to say no, but he felt dirty.  He didn’t want this.  But his words turned to breathless moans, sighs, and whimpers.

When Scott reached his pants Soul regained some of his strength.  He pulled at Scott’s hair and pushed at his shoulders, but still his pants came down.  With Scott’s first gentle lick Soul went still. 

Each gentle lick brought Soul higher; when Scott took him in all the way he thought his heart would burst.  Every thought was gone.  His hands clutched Scott’s hair, but no longer to push him away.  Soul wrapped his legs around Scotts shoulders and shuddered, trying to hold back the pleasure.  But it was only a matter of time.

One last time Scott hummed around Soul’s length and it was the end.  Soul flinched hard, as if to pull away from the overwhelming feeling.  The room blurred into a sea of red, the light from the window splintered.  He could hear his own voice calling out, but could not understand the words.  Finally when the world came back into focus Soul looked down at Scott.  He was still licking at Soul, rubbing the smooth skin of his inner thighs.  Soul pulled away, feeling violated and like his skin was being rubbed with sandpaper.  Scott looked up at him, and just as he met Soul’s eyes he convulsed, shooting into his pants and onto the bed.  Soul pulled away with all his strength.  He couldn’t quite believe what had just happened.  When he was finally free he shoved himself from the bed, falling in a heap on the floor.  He scrambled away when Scott looked down at him. 

“What- how could you, I said no!  I don’t I cant-” Soul couldn’t find his feet, he found his back against a wall, he couldn’t pick himself up, couldn’t bring himself to look back at the bed.

“Soul- Soul I am so sorry!”  Soul couldn’t even hear the words.  He breathed too quickly and the world swam before his eyes.  Scott climbed to sit before him.  He took Soul’s face in his hands and forced him to look in his eyes.  They were calm now, normal.  Finally Soul calmed enough to push himself and rush to the bathroom.  Scott heard the water turn on and another figure entered the room.

“Oh my sweet son, I think you have just pushed your little rabbit away.”  Sylvia smiled her fake smile and looked around the room.  “Sweetie, you might want to clean all this up before he returns.”  Scott was at a loss. 

“Don’t just stand there!  Clean!”  Sylvia pointed at the stained sheets, then to Scott’s own pants.  His cheeks flushed as red as the walls.  But mutely he changed his pants and began to strip the bed.

“So, today you will begin your studies with Soul, get him to draw something at this point I don’t care what.  Figure out what makes him tick.  Find his mother and most of all finish the damn bond!”  Sylvia took a moment to compose herself.  She forced her face into another false smile.  “I could still be proud of you, so could your father.  Don’t you want that?”  And in spite of himself, that was what Scott wanted.

Soul stood in the doorway, his hair dripping down his back and his skin scalded red from the shower.  He looked unsure, and Sylvia was happy to take advantage.

“My sweetie!”  She gushed.  “I can’t believe what my son did to you!  It is unforgiveable, but I hope you will be able to.  You know, he just can’t help himself.  He has told you hasn’t he.  It is just too much pressure for someone like him.  You know that isn’t really an excuse, there is no excuse for this kind of behavior.  But it is a bit my fault.  You see when you were a baby I did a little- well.  I might have made it a bit stronger last night.  See Scott has never really been the best with relationships.  I didn’t know he would do something so terrible.  Just come with me darling and I’ll get you all fixed up.”  She swept from the room and took Soul with her, an arm around his toweled waist.

Sylvia dressed Soul, much to his embarrassment.  She picked black soft pants like the night before with a midnight blue long sleeve shirt.  Again it was tailored to show his every dip and curve.  She even brushed and styled his hair, pinning it behind his ears, and lined his eyes in black.  When she turned him to the mirror Soul felt even sicker.  He looked nothing like himself.  He looked vulnerable he looked like an easy target, a victim. 

“Sylvia?”  He spoke for the first time.

“Don’t worry darling, sweetie, everything will be alright.  Just don’t fight so hard.”  She brushed her hand down Soul’s head and he felt calmer.  Maybe he shouldn’t fight so hard.  It was all he had done all his life, and where had it gotten him?  Sighing he nodded.  He let a small smile grace his features and he and Sylvia entered the dining room arm in arm.


  1. I really hate Sylvia and wish Soul would find a backbone.

    Let's see where you take the guys...... :o)