Back in the dorm Soul got out his
sketchbook, after staring at the page for an hour he began to draw,
the strokes came to him slowly, and he didn’t have a finished image
in mind, but the smooth crumble of the charcoal on the page soothed
his heart and mind.
The sun had begun to set when Jon
returned, his cheeks were flushed and he immediately began chatting
about his plans with his new friends, Rose and Sarah had the day off
too, and were going to begin running lines both for class and to
audition for Romeo and Juliet. Soul hardly listened, and didn’t
speak. Still he drew. The picture was done completely in negative
space, but Soul wasn’t erasing. It was difficult to imagine the
shapes that would bring the shadowed figures into the foreground, but
he managed.
The image was one Soul had drawn
before, but not in this way, there was a ring of people and monsters
holding hands. It was a starry but moonless night in a forest of
hands, the nails growing in spirals that faded into smoke. Sometimes
the smoke mixed with smoke from a fire, sometimes the smoke formed
words. This time it did neither, and the ambiguity somehow made the
picture all the more frightening.
“Whatcha drawing?” Jon was pulled
from his retelling of one of Scott's legendary critiques when he
noticed Soul's activity. Soul didn’t reply. “That's kinda
scary, where'd you get the idea to draw that? I don’t think I would
want to be in that circle, wait, are those hands? God, dude, that's
really freaky.” Jon took a step back.
“I don’t know, I’ve drawn it
before.” Soul carefully shaded the space that would define a
tendril of smoke from a star. “Some things you can't explain you
know?” Jon nodded, and was, for a moment, speechless.
“I used to always ask my mother why,
why everything was the way it was. She would always say just that.
'some things are the way they are, just because they can't be any
other way.' You know I told her I wouldn't miss her, but I do?” he
paused for another moment then Jon was back to his bubbly self,
introspection forgotten. Soul nodded, but focused on his drawing,
filing the knowledge of Jon's deeper side away for the future.
Soul found it was easiest for him to
draw when he was either irritated with Jon or when he was out of he
way. He found it irritating that he fit this other cliché. A
tortured artist, he needed pain for his art. The other thing that
inspired his art was Scott. Unfortunately Scott was in two of Soul's
classes, one of them drawing.
“Fancy seeing you here.” Soul
looked around the side of his easel into a pair of the most purely
hazel eyes he could remember seeing, it was a little disconcerting,
they were so uniform with almost no striation or variation in tone.
“Don't you remember me? I’m Scott.” It was the class Soul
looked forward to his whole life, a class freshmen almost never got
to take, and now it was going to be ruined.
“I remember you.”
“Don't look so forlorn, I’m not
that bad. Plus now you don’t have to get to know your easel buddy,
cause you already know me.” Scott flashed a smile that was all
teeth. He looked rather like a demented werewolf from a pre-CGI
horror movie. Soul shuddered.
“I wouldn't mind meeting someone
new-” but before he could finish the professor entered the room.
He looked like he should be the curator of some prestigious museum.
He was tall and slim, but with broad shoulders, his hair was a deep
chestnut brown, just beginning to go gray around the temples though
it was apparent that he had seen his share of years.
“Students, hello. Some of you hello
again, to some of you welcome. I don’t like too much formality,
especially as this is a studio environment. I want you to see me as
more of a mentor, and my critiques as suggestions. This class is for
you to develop your perspective as an artist, for you to be able to
defend your art to a critic, and o be able to maintain your style
through fads and changing tastes. You cannot do that if you are
always trying to imitate your peers and please me. Today, since it
is the first day and I do not know many of you I just want you to
sketch, and I will walk around and chat with each of you, see what
you have been working on over the summer that sort of thing.”
The professor reminded Soul of how a
grandfather should be. Kind and warm. Distinguished, but not afraid
to get dirty. Soul could feel himself settling in, even with Scott
across from him. Soul crossed his legs and picked up his favorite
graphite pencil. He wanted to start with something light, but all he
could think of were forests of teeth. He drew lazy daises, trying to
think of something, anything he could draw that would impress the
professor without scaring him away. But as the professor meandered
closer, Soul couldn’t think of anything and had nothing to show for
his effort but a paper littered with artless tufts of grass and
flowers.
“This is nice,” the professor said
to Scott, “I can see your inspiration.” Soul could hear the
smile in his voice, even if he couldn’t see what Scott had drawn.
Scott was supposed to be a theatre major, but to be in this class as
a freshman he would have had to have presented an impressive
portfolio.
“Great right?” Scott laughed.
Soul fumed, Scott should have been the one drawing the flowers. “I
think that with this kind of beauty in front of them anyone would be
able to draw.”
“Well,” began the professor, “good
luck, I have the feeling you are going to need it in the next weeks,
and you Soul is it? What have you drawn.” Soul blushed. He should
have just drawn what he was thinking, he might have looked crazy, but
better crazy than stupid.
“I couldn’t think. I’m sorry.”
“Well, it is the first day, you had
quite the portfolio. You were the one with the unconventional
forests weren’t you?” Soul nodded. “ I think that is the
direction you should stick with. As nice as all these flowers are,
they aren’t the kind of thing that got you into my class. I will
expect better from you in the future.” The professor patted Soul on
the arm and gave him a look that was worse than any punishment , and
moved on to the next station.
“Flowers eh? Well better luck next
time. I mean flowers are great, but that's the kind of thing my
little sister draws for me.” Soul wished he was the fighting type
so he could punch Scott. Why was he even talking?
“I don’t usually draw flowers.”
Well that was a great comeback, Soul
thought.
“I'm
glad, neither do I, but this time I added a few. I think they add a
nice touch.” Scott leaned back to admire his art. Soul wanted to
know what he had drawn, but more than that he didn’t want to give
him the satisfaction of asking.
“That's
nice. I’m sure it's lovely.” Soul had meant to sound sarcastic,
but the words we just a bit too close to the truth to have the proper
effect.
“It
is. I like it.” Scott flashed a blinding smile then turned to
perfect his picture.
Soul
gave up on drawing for the day. He shaded in the grass and flowers
and waited for the hour to end. And to think this was the class he
was most excited for.
Later
in the dorm Soul felt like drawing, but didn’t feel like he
deserved to. He looked out the window and watched Jon practice
expressions in the mirror. He was listening to Phantom of
the Opera, it fit Soul's mood.
Aching for quiet Soul went to find the library. He took the long way
around, behind the dorm buildings and through the arts quad. The
states and trees were calming. The still summer air felt like a
blanket sweaty wool blanket, and by the time Soul reached the
library, the air conditioning felt like heaven.
The
building was new, but the architect was obviously inspired by Gothic
European churches and cathedrals. The building was made of some
smooth white stone, but it still gave the impression of being dark.
The windows were large but narrow, filled with clear hand made glass
that bent the light into soft waves on the stone floor. At this hour
this early in the year the library was relatively empty, and on the
third floor, where Soul headed, there was not a breath of sound.
Very different from the dorm room Soul had left.
As he
sat in one of the many window seats and watched the distorted trees
through the unique glass, Soul realized he should have brought
something with him to do. He did have some homework, even if it
wasn't much, and he didn’t want to get behind this early in the
year. But soon, all his thoughts drifted away, he drifted away and
faded into the light.
“Damn,
I wish the light didn’t fade so fast.” Soul jumped. The sun had
set significantly since he had drifted. The waves of light were
crimson and gold, and his arms and legs were stiff from sitting still
for so long. Soul turned to see who the voice belonged to, he almost
couldn’t believe his bad luck. Sitting at one of the long tables
was Scott, with a large pad of watercolor paper. His hair was
tousled and a light stubble graced his cheeks, glowing in the fading
light. He had a smudge of charcoal on his cheek and a pencil behind
his ear, another in his hand.
“Why
are you here?” Soul stretched his legs slowly. He didn’t want to
seem like he was running away. He got the impression running would
make Scott chase.
“If
you checked Professor White's web page you would know that we have a
mini series of sketches due next week. Something that is based on
what we drew today.” Scott ran his hand through his hair again.
The one with the pencil in it. Somehow the streak of black the soft
lead left looked avant garde and almost attractive. Soul debated not
answering, but he was too curious, he had to know.
“That
doesn’t answer my question. Why do you have to be up here. I
obviously wanted to be by myself.”
“I
wasn’t bothering you, you didn’t notice me for nearly an hour,
plus how am I supposed to draw you if I can't see you? ” And with
another smile and what looked like a wink Scott gathered his drawing
and jogged down the stone stairs.
***
Transitions and dialogue are hard! So is writing in general, but really those are the hardest. So is finishing things that I start, but that's a whole other story! Again any feedback, comments, anything- is very, very welcome, happy Thursday :)
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