woo another chapter! I dont know how i let go of this, its so fun! Anyway as always comments are all welcome, I would love to hear from you. I also super appologize for mistakes, I wrote this whole chapter on my ipad as my computer is sent away to get fixed.
Charcoal pt 14
Soul went back to his drawing and doodles some birds in the clouds, he knew Sylvia wasn’t going to be happy with him once she saw how inane his drawing was, but honestly Soul didn’t care, he had plans, ideas, and even possibly people to help him with them. Maybe he could get home, maybe he could escape, and best of all he could find out some answers.
The day finished without incident. Sylvia was civil through dinner and still didn’t mention the escape attempt. The others were there too, looking worried, but no worse than any other day. Soul could almost imagine that it had never happened.
Soul would be almost relaxed, armed, as he was, with his new plan. But Scott was watching Soul constantly, probably aware that he had a plan. Soul wondered how much he could share, how much he was willing to share. He did feel a connection to Scott, but how much of it was an actually friendship and how much of it was constructed? Though in the past hours he had felt much more balanced toward Scott, he still couldn’t trust his feelings. He wished the clarity he felt toward the other parts of his plan would expand to how he felt about Scott.
Dinner ended and Scott and Soul headed back to their room. The red walls seemed oppressive and Soul wasted no time stripping of his formal dinner wear. He sat on the bed and thought hard. He would have liked to think longer but the feeling of Scott’s weight hitting the bed and then his arms closing around Soul’s shoulders shorted out his thoughts and made any sort of heavy duty reflection impossible.
Revulsion and attraction fought within Soul and made him feel nauseous. He pulled himself free and began to pace around the room. But his trains of thoughts had been throughly derailed.
“What are you thinking about?” Scott lazed on the bed and looked both delightfully edible and terrifying.
“You.” Soul answered. He hadn’t decided what he was going to share but he knew he had to start somewhere. He decided that Scott deserved the truth, even if it wasn’t all of it. He remembered the first time he had felt any calm before today- it had been when he started to share a few things with Scott. It had been the first hint that he had done something right, he wanted to continue with that.
“What do you mean.” Scott had sat up a little at Soul’s word, but still looked like a throughly debauched lord or some manor. And if Sylvia got her way he eventually would be.
Soul took a deep breath.
“I mean I am trying to decide what to tell you. I know I need to tell you the truth. But I don’t want to tell you all of it.” Scott shrugged.
“I also want you to promise not to tell.” Scott nodded and sat the rest of the way up, aware now that they weren’t just talking about their relationship. There was something deeper going on, and Soul was willing to share.
“I promise not to tell.”
Soul took another deep breath.
“So we obviously didn’t get out. I had a feeling that it wouldn’t work. And I began to think that maybe it wasn’t a good idea, then after when nothing happened I began to wonder if somehow Sylvia had something to do with it.” Scott opened his mouth to talk but shut it again when Soul held up a hand. “I began to feel really nervous about doing anything. I don’t know anything still. I don’t know what anyone wants me to tell them or what to do but then I began thinking of all the people that know things.”
“My mother knew everything, and the twins, well they knew my mother, they lived across the street for years and no one ever bothered me. They knew where my mother was this whole time. They can't be on her side- not entirely right? And I need to see my mother. Somehow she has stayed out of this for this long. She must know how to help me.” Scott nodded and leaned forward.
“That all makes sense, but my mother has her hands in a lot of people’s pockets. Even more than you might guess. Its really scary but you have to trust someone right?” Scott sounded extremely sad and for a moment Soul felt bad. He couldn’t imagine growing up in this place. If he wasn’t so confused about his own feelings he might have wanted to be friends with Scott. He hoped someday this would all be over and they would be able to start over.
Soul felt deflated. He really wished he wasn’t a part of any of this. He wished he had been born someone else. Someone that had no special talents. He wished he was stupid, he wished he couldn’t draw, he wished he had just given up at the beginning. Right now he just wanted to sleep. Planning could wait until the morning.
After they had both brushed their teeth and put on soft sleeping shorts they found in one of the dressers Scott walked around to what had become his side of the bed. He picked up a pillow and started toward the living room. A large part of Soul wanted to let him go. He wanted to think, he wanted his own space. But he realized and even larger part of him did want to trust. He was so tired of feeling alone, of feeling trapped and confused.
“Come back.” Soul slithered under the smooth covers and opened his arms. Scott looked conflicted and almost as lost as Soul felt.
“Just to sleep, please?” Slowly Scott started back toward the bed. He faced the wall and stayed as far to the side as he could without falling off. Soul felt awful- he didn’t want to push but he did kind of want to be held. Just for now before he had to really decide what to do with Scott. Soul pushed down the artificial feelings that he could feel rising and pulled Scott’s arm across his waist. He could feel Scott resisting, but when Soul threatened to keep sliding backward Scott was in serious danger of falling off the bed if he didn’t cuddle back.
Soul kept trying to push the feelings down and he fell asleep, but just before he succumbed to sleep he relaxed and all at once, the minute he stopped fighting, the good and the bad began to fade.
Soul had many many dreams that night, some of them were of his pictures, something that had never happened to him again, the images were usually restricted to his art, and other dreams that he almost woke from dreams where he thought he was dying dreams where he was with Scott. Sometimes Scott would save him sometimes Scott was killing him and sometimes Scott was the monster Soul befriended.
When Soul woke he couldn’t remember his dreams, he was just still exhausted and edgy. He woke wrapped in Scott’s arms, half on top of him with one of his legs between Scott’s. Soul waited to see what mood Scott would be in when he woke. Luckily when Scott opened his eyes they were clear, if a bit surprised to discover their position.
“Did you sleep well?” Scott asked. He had been dreaming of Soul waking him with a blowjob. It was an excellent dream, but seeing Soul’s deep green eyes so close was almost better. It reminded Scott of their meeting in the rose garden, of seeing Soul wake up in that slow way. Scott resolved that one day he was going to wake up before Soul so he could watch it. It had been his dream for years to wake up with Soul in his bed and now it was happening and it wasn’t anything like he had expected.
“I had a lot of dreams.” Soul said in response. Scott squeezed him and smiled.
“So did I” But Soul’s face suggested their dreams had very different themes.
“What did you dream about?” Soul scrunched up his face a bit at that and Scott thought it was beyond adorable, especially when he noticed Soul had the lightest sprinkle of freckles across his cheeks. He realized that he hadn’t been able to look at the other man this closely before. Especially not in such a clear state of mind.
“You kinda, I think.” Soul answered. Scott was only half listening to him.
“I dreamt of you too.” Scott brushed a finger along Soul’s cheek “You have freckles.” Soul took the small bit of freedom to his advantage and slid out of Scott’s arms. He headed to the the shower. He needed to think. He was sure that today Sylvia would be after him to draw something that was actually relevant. He wouldn’t be able to give any excuses and he had to figure out how to speak with the twins. He had to make a plan before anything else happened. And from all the talk it seemed like whatever was happening was just beginning to happen.
Soul pulled off his pajama pants as soon as he reached the bathroom. He had left the door open so he could talk.
“Scott?’ Soul should have guessed that Scott would not answer from the bedroom but he was still surprised when Scott’s head appeared in the bathroom door.
“Yeah?” Scott answered but he again wasn’t really listening. He was busy looking at Soul’s naked back and naked- everything else. Even without being influenced unduly by the bond Soul was indescribably beautiful, and when he turned Scott could see that he blushed all the way down to his toes.
Soul immediately tried to cover himself. He knew Scott had seen it, everything, but not like this, not clearheaded, and not with such a good vantage point. They stood for a moment looking at each other, Soul felt frozen. He had felt like prey so many times in this house but this time he almost enjoyed it. He felt like he wouldn’t mind being chased. But after a few moments of being trapped in Scott’s butterscotch smooth eyes Soul’s rational mind took over. He had called Scott for a reason, and the reason was not to ogle his naked body. Soul wrapped a towel around himself and tried to gather his slowly scattering thoughts. It felt a bit like herding cats but he managed. He cleared his throat and began again.
“Um, so before when I told you everything I know.” Scott nodded. “And you promised that you wouldn’t share. Can you do that again?” Scott nodded, Soul waited.
“Okay I promise I won’t tell whatever you are about to tell me.” Soul realized that this wasn’t as reliable of a method as he had imagined. He didn’t know when Scott began and ended his understanding of not telling. But remembering their discussion Soul decided to just trust and try. The twins had said for him to trust his feelings, to trust them. And what other choice did he have.
"You have to help me find a way to talk to the twins alone. No Sylvia, no you, no anyone but us.” Scott looked a bit hurt that he wasn’t to be included but nodded.
“There should be a way for that to happen. I’ll think about it.” Soul nodded, then looked significantly to the door. Scott laughed, but left the bathroom and closed the door behind him.
After breakfast Scott and Soul found themselves back in the library with new sheets of paper and the same sets of pencils. Soul stared at the blank expanse in front of him. He knew that he needed to do something real, but he also couldn’t draw the forest. He needed something in the middle. He thought of the first time he had drawn with Scott, in Professor White’s office. He could draw Scott, he could draw the poppies. He could draw anything that was peripheral. He knew the forest was what they were after but if he really could See, if stood to reason that he could see things other than the forest, he just had to see something else.
“Scott, I want to draw you- will you help?”
“How?” Soul shrugged, he didn’t know how, but that wasn’t his job.
“Do whatever you did in Professor Whites office.” Soul missed Scott’s blush, but he leaned into Scott’s hands when the other man stood behind him and ran his fingers through Soul’s hair.
“All I did was trust you could do it. I knew you could then and I know you can now.”
Soul looked at the page in front of him, then picked up a charcoal pencil. He started in the middle- with Scott’s long, soft, featherlike eyelashes.
The image was beautiful. Soul looked at it from a distance, as usual he didn’t feel anything toward the picture. He tried to look at it objectively but when he really looked he couldn't stop the creeping blush. He had drawn Scott yes, but Soul was also in the picture. He could recognize himself even if all you could see was his back, and even if his hair was even longer than it was now. Scott's eyelashes were lying against his cheeks, his eyes closed, his head was tilted back and his mouth slightly open, with just a hint of tongue showing. He was holding Soul on his lap, Soul’s head on his shoulder looking away, hidden by his hair and they- well they were naked and they were having sex. And from the look of it it was good.
Soul really wanted to flip over the piece of paper, to burn it, to somehow unsee what he had seen or rather Seen. There was nothing ambiguous or allegorical to that picture. Soul bit his lip and turned to look at Scott who after a while had simply sat across from him holding his hand and making doodles of his own. Soul hoped that Scott would still be looking at his own piece of paper but he had no such luck. The second Soul had stopped his steady shading Scott had put down his own pencil. He was looking at Soul’s drawing with half a smirk on his face. Soul was glad that he wasn’t looking at Soul’s face, he could feel the burning in his cheeks.
“I like what you see.” Scott laughed and Soul yanked his hand away. He was embarrassed and didn’t want to be laughed at. He stood as if to walk away, but when he turned to the door somehow Scott was there in front of him. Scott caught him before he could scurry around and held Soul by his hips. But this time his touch was gentle, firm and Soul didn’t think he was going to let go, but it was, in its way, a comforting touch.
“I'm not laughing at you, I’m laughing because I’m happy.” Soul still didn’t look up. He had only barely believed that he could predict or See anything, he felt like yes maybe his pictures had meaning but only peripherally. This, what he had just done felt very intensely like a premonition. He wished he knew when it was or how it would happen. He felt out of control and like there was nothing he could do to change events. The weight of his ‘gift’ felt like it was crushing him, another straw added to his load. Soul just wanted to cry. He wanted to run away, he wanted to be held, he wanted to know the answers to every one of his questions but he didn’t know where to begin.
“Hey-“ Scott tilted soul’s face up to meet his eyes. Don’t worry about it okay?” Soul felt like he did was drowning in Scott’s eyes. He reached one hand up to touch the eyelashes he felt so drawn to. This small part of Scott was safe, this small part of him didn’t have to do with everything else. For the first time Soul kissed another human being. He wasn’t being kissed, he took action. He reached his other hand around Scott’s neck, he buried his hands in Scott’s soft hair, realizing for the first time he hadn’t really touched it before, looked into his eyes, and kissed him.
Scott’s lips were smooth, warm, and he tasted like coffee. Soul hadn’t thought of what he would do once he had started the kiss, but for once thinking didn’t get in his way, he just did what felt right.
Scott let Soul kiss him for as long as he could, but when Soul pulled back slightly to sigh against Scott’s lips he couldn’t help himself anymore. He wrapped his hands around Soul’s waist and lifted him, Soul’s legs snaked around Scott’s waist just like he had imagined so many times, and clung on with a strength Scott didn’t expect. When he could breathe again Soul gripped Scott’s hair tighter and kissed him deeper, he wanted to taste every inch of him, starting with his mouth. If he could climb inside him and explore from the inside he would have done that, but for now it was enough to sweep his tongue though every bit of Scott he could reach. Soul didn’t realize that he was undulating against Scott’s body, but Scott noticed, he couldn’t imagine anything hotter than Soul pleasuring himself against Scott, the muscles on Soul’s back strained as he flexed against Scott, trying to feel as much as he could.
If he could think of anything other than Scott’s mouth he would have felt the delicious burning in his muscles and deeper, he would have felt the blood rush to his penis, he would have felt the burning in the bowl of his pelvis, felt the need to be filled, to be possessed, to be completely powerless in the face of pleasure, but instead the only thought that was in his mind was getting his tongue as deep as he could, tasting every inch that he could.
Scott flinched at the sharp sound of Soul’s head hitting the wall he had backed them into, but Soul made no indication he had felt anything. With the added support of the wall Scott was able to pull back a bit to breathe, he was able to snake his hand into the back of Soul’s black pants, as tight as they were they were meant to sit low and Scott was just able to grab a handful of Soul’s ass in one hand. Barely satisfied with one handful, but unwilling to put Soul down Scott kissed his way down Soul’s neck, finding the fading marks he had left before, strangely proud they still were visible, Scott found a perfect spot, just below Soul’s ear, that made Soul moan deep in his throat and slam his head back into the wall, Scott began to worry the area with his lips and tongue, gratified at the sharp gasps and moans that he had imagined slipping from Soul’s lips for years. Finally he heard them, finally he had Soul in his arms.
Soul felt consumed, but clear, there was no sign of unnatural feeling, the only desperation he felt was his own. He wanted to get closer to Scott, but there was no urge to go further, he would be happy here forever. Wherever it came from Soul loved it. If this was his glimpse into the future he didn’t mind going there. Scott’s mouth on his neck felt like heaven and Soul couldn’t keep the sounds from pouring from his mouth, he knew vaguely he would be embarrassed later but now all he could do was hold on for dear life and hope the moment would never end.
“Mother says- oops” The soft voice somehow cut through the dizzy wanting, and Soul found himself suddenly feet away from Scott, his pants were somehow half unzipped and he was sure his lips were swollen and a flush graced his cheeks. Soul ran a hand through his hair sure it was beyond hope, and still all he wanted to do is laugh. Scott however had been immediately torn from his living dream, his sister’s voice was like ice water and his mothers name like the electric chair.
“Oh no, she’ll be so mad I interrupted.” Josie looked so afraid for a moment Soul was afraid she would pass out.
“Don’t worry, you aren’t stopping anything. See we still have all our clothes on.” He smiled at her hoping she could tell he wasn’t upset, that his good mood wasn’t driving by whatever Talents were floating around. It was just him, and just Scott.
“Um, okay, she wants to see you. Both of you.” Josie turned slowly and leaned against the door frame for a minute before leaving the room.
“Is she going to be okay?” Soul asked. Scott shrugged,
“Only time will tell.”
After straightening their clothes the boys steeled themselves to see Sylvia. Soul was about to ask where they were supposed to meet her when she came sweeping into the room, her outfit was a dark red floor length gown and she had laurel leaves woven into her elaborate hairstyle. She looked like a witch.
“I hope you have made some progress, because your day is far from over. The others have come and you need to be dressed.” The sickly sweet demeanor was back and Soul could feel it in the air like a cloying perfume. Scott held Soul’s drawing out to her, a slight blush crossing his face. She held the paper like it was a gift bestowed to her by her most beloved friend, she cradled it to her chest after looking at it.
“Oh my lovely Soul, I knew you would come through, I knew you could do it. I just can’t wait for the day when this takes place, for when my son will finally fall into his place, and you can See what we all need you to see.” She smiled and Soul's impression of something oppressive trying to force its way through his pores got stronger, and in a flash of insight he knew what Sylvia’s Talent was.
It could have been a subtle Talent but it was Sylvia. As she was sweeping them out of the library and upstairs to ‘prepare themselves to be truly met’ Soul thought. She could influence mood. That’s how she got everyone to do what they wanted, that’s why the house was so oppressive, that was why it was all so vague. Soul wondered if she knew what her Talent was, or if she just knew that she always got her way. She had wanted him to forgive Scott and he had, she had wanted him to want Scott and he had, she had wanted him to feel frightened, and he had been. But once his decisions were made they were set and a mood wouldn’t change it. Filing the information for later consideration Soul began his second shower of the day and prepared to meet The Others.